Healing

So even though my mind tells me it was just a game, my heart is broken. Sunday night I woke up several times during the night, thinking, “What happened?” Even my 8 year old daughter sobbed in the car after the game, “Why would they pass the ball??”
And I know a lot of you are hurting too. In every group I have been a part of since the Super Bowl, the people have wanted to talk about the game. What went wrong, how close we were, how sad they are.
Some of you know I love to listen to sports radio, and I have to say I’ve been impressed with them this week. Many of the hosts have called themselves “grief counselors,” and have said again and again, that we have to talk this out. You can’t keep it inside because it is going to haunt you for a long time.
Even Pete Carroll has said that he wanted to come on Brock and Salk’s show because he needed to talk to the 12’s. To let us know it was ok to be sad. That he is sad too and that he takes responsibility for the call that led to the interception. He is a good leader—he knows how many fans feel like they lost too.
I have to tell you that I have been really impressed with how many of the men I hear on sports radio are valuing the necessity of talking about what is bothering you. Of not pretending it didn’t happen because we need to get it out.
I remember years ago, I learned somewhere that when they have compared the chemical composition of regular tears and tears of grief, they have found that grief tears contain toxins. I’m pretty sure that means we have to get them out. That there is a reason we want to cry when we are sad.
I have a good friend that I remember talking to before he got married. I asked him if he was at all sad to be settling down. I remember so well what he told me because he said, “of course I am. And I am making sure that I take time to be sad about it. But I am so happy to be getting married, too. I just really believe it taking time to feel what I feel.”
That is after all, the way to heal. And while I know it was just a game, I am still sad. And whether you care about what happened on Sunday night or not, we all have times in our lives when we need to take time to just be sad. It is one of the things that makes us so beautifully human.
So feel what you feel. Anger, sadness, betrayal, whatever it is. You have to go through it to get to the other side. And as a friend shared with me, “every setback has a major comeback.” God’s favorite thing is to turn our death into life after all.

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